March 23, 2017 – TALES OF A CONFECTIONIST

After getting TimmyC the Melbourne experience, which involved a trendy haircut complete with a manscaping shave, we were off to get brunch. I had my eyes set on Cumulus Inc. down the road just a tram ride away. Of course, every Melburnian and person who can google were also there waiting in line and we joined the end of it.We happily get to the front of the line to only be told that there were only 20 minutes left of breakfast time and they could not guarantee that we would get a table. Breakfast is only served between 8am – 11:30am, while lunch is not served until midday. What do they do in between 11:30-12? They can offer you a muffin or madeleines filled with lemon curd.Being the optimist that I am, I opt to wait by the window in hopes that someone leaves their table before 11:30. We were one of the last people to be let in, the line behind me dissipated. They were probably turned away or weren’t willing to satisfy their brunch cravings with a small baked treat.

I start staring down everyone happily talking, eating and sitting at their tables, unsuccessfully trying to control their minds to get them the hell off the table so I could catch breakfast.11:28am- no one looked like they were moving. They didn’t care that a girl looked hungry by the corner of the restaurant constantly looking at her watch wanting time to slow down (or someone to hurry up). I must have looked desperate as the maître d came over with a menu and said that he would take our order now and give us the next available table. We didn’t need to look at the menu, we had already decided before we got there, I wanted the LUNE croissant, burnt butter sauce and spanner crab ($16.00) and TimmyC had his eye on the crumpets.There are no LUNE products left and the strict ‘no variations’ rule on the breakfast menu meant that I had to choose something else. My heart sinks but I quickly decide on the Cumulous Inc. breakfast and as soon as we ordered, a couple finally left the bar.

Cumulus Inc. breakfast – boiled egg, toast, preserves, yoghurt, organic orange juice and coffee or tea ($16.00). I have a short attention span so a breakfast with so many different things to eat really worked well for me. The egg was cooked perfectly, I liked the variety of spreads and the yoghurt was really tart which worked well with the rhubarb topping. There was a nice selection of bread served with only just enough butter (a little more couldn’t hurt). I had the orange juice while TimmyC had the coffee.A perfect egg to dip my toast into.Nothing special about their OJ, it’s organic and comes from a bottle but it is nice to have a beverage included in the breakfast and not pay $7 for it.House made crumpets, whipped ricotta and rooftop honey ($10.00). Towards the end, I stole the rest of TimmyC’s breakfast. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy mine, I just loved his. The not too dense texture of the crumpets made for the best vessel to get as much whipped ricotta and honey to my mouth as possible. It wasn’t overly sweet and I loved the flavour combination.Flat white ($4.00). TimmyC loved his coffee so much, he ordered a second.Despite being very busy, all the staff were very friendly and attentive. It was a simple breakfast done well, I would have liked to have something more complex but in my mind, I didn’t have a plan B when the crab dish was unavailable. It looks like I will have to arrive a lot earlier next time or stay around for lunch.